kids these days

how a little game of  ‘scissors, paper, rock’ could get me sooo bothered. i mean, i get it, i get the game – after all i have been playing this game  for years. i get that scissors can beat paper, and i get how a rock can beat scissors, but there is no way paper can beat rock. is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? why the hell can’t paper do this to scissors? screw scissors, why can’t paper do this to people? why aren’t sheets of printer paper suffocating colleges as they print out paper work? ill tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody! a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. when I play ‘scissors, paper, rock’ i always choose rock. then when someone claims to have beaten me with their paper, i can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say… oh sorry i thought that your paper would protect you, you asshole.